What do you do when something continues to bother you and you have no control over it?
It’s times like these where there is just one thing on the mind: Not having the ability or even the motivation to grow a backbone to have a chance at coming to peace or stopping the occurrence. On one hand there is “happiness & sadness” while on the other there is “sadness & happiness”. Happiness for the other is always and still the priority, simply can’t be selfish, or even try. Yet, there is no resolution for both unless I can come to terms. Even if it were to go in my favor, I would feel unbelievably guilty and it would be unfair. Though, honestly after trying I don’t think I can nor do I think I want to either. When you’ve tried so hard and for so long with no results, the question arises: Are you actually capable?
One of many conversations in my head.
Me #1: The breaking point is here or near…all efforts to overcome this have failed….I don’t want to try anymore because I’m tired of failing the other.
Me #2: But everything that has happened so far will go in vain if I don’t try.
Me #1: I know, it’s not that I want to leave…it’s just so difficult to overcome this…
Me #2: No one said it would be easy…the history you’ve been dealt doesn’t lend a helping hand whatsoever.
Me #1: Yeah…….guess we’ll see what happens…..
Me #2: Mmm…
Me #1: …..You’re talking to yourself, bro.
Me #2: Dude, look who is talking.